Memories
by mira ff
Summary: Newly revised! Memories of the past keep Tifa awake. Now it's Cloud's turn to comfort his usual emotional support. Cloti as per usual


**A/N:**

**basically just an edited version of the older story. **

**Disclaimer: ..nope FF not mine**

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The sight before him was strange. The living room was black, night streaming in from the small panes of glass on the opposite side of the room, shrouding the room in shadows. His eyes scanned the space harshly, every detail taken in. But there was only one thing he needed to focus on, the small huddled mass cringing in the back. He managed to control his breathe, and held his spine against the doorframe to keep his posture strong. _What happened?_

There was no trace of a break in, no intimation of any fight or struggle. But the girl in front of him was crying, holding her knees and grappling through each intake of breathe. The ends of her hair were sticking firmly to the sides of her cheeks, wet with tear stains.

His boots creaked across the wooden floor, causing the girl's head to flash up with embarrassment more than fear. "Hello?" Her voice was still strained, still broken. The dark haired girl's lithe body swiftly changed positions on the couch, and he saw her hands struggle with her eyes. They finally looked up to the figure, "…Cloud?"

The blonde cautiously stepped closer. "Are you okay?"

"…Yeah, I'm fine. But you, why aren't you asleep?" It came out low, her own concern disappearing with a new worry for him.

_Why aren't you?_

This was typical Tifa. There was obviously something significant on her mind, something horrible enough to make her burst into tears, but she only worried for him. She was only concerned about how he was feeling. _But what about her? _Cloud shook his head, "You're lying."

Tifa blinked, "What?"

"You're not fine. Look." His hand gestured to the couch, to the sets of tissues lining the coffee table's edge. "Tell me." It came off more as a command than he would have liked.

She shifted, leaning forward and hiding her wet face. "…It's nothing."

But even Cloud could read through that. _Why not tell me?_ But he didn't push it, not with questions. The blonde simply sat down next to her, eyes focused forward.

Tifa remained reticent, but became more on edge. Her fingers circled through her bangs, pushing them forward to hide her eyes. She glanced at Cloud expectantly, wondering why he was still sitting next to her, completely silent.

_Is this how you feel, Tifa?_

He peered at her face nervously.

_Is this how you feel when I keep things from you?_

Her face reflected his desperation. It was if she realized what she had been doing, that she was acting exactly like him. It was eating away at Cloud, just like his avoidance ate her. She had no choice but to comply. Tifa exhaled slowly, "…I had a bad dream."

_Dream?_ Cloud cracked a light smile at the sentence, the parallels between her problem and that of an 8 year old's being all too similar. His face soon broke as her full expression became apparent. She looked haunted. "About what, Tifa?"

She shook her head. "It was awful."

"What was it about?"

Her eyes became wet again, "…Our past."

Cloud's face creased at the statement. He saw the pain dashed on Tifa's face, the ache the memory had brought her. With his hands, he slowly pushed her back against the couch, making her head rest against the soft surface for support. He then replaced his hand back on her own. It was the only signal she needed.

"…It was in Nibelheim."

_Nibelheim. _ The town name itself shot pain through his body. "What about it?"

Her head focused downward, looking at their hands practically interlocked. "When it was burning…when Sephiroth came." She huffed loudly, trying to remain strong. "And I just kept thinking… if only I knew you were there then." Tifa's eyes flashed back to Cloud's face. "…and what would have happened if …"

Cloud scooted closer to her, noting her increasing despair. "It's okay, Tifa." He was regurgitating her statements to him, whenever he himself felt broken. He desperately tried to calm her down, but he didn't know how to. _She's never like this…_

Her hard breathes continued. "…but what if we ended up like them? Like those clones Sephiroth just destroyed…" The tears were reforming. "...Sometimes I'm happy my father died then. I couldn't bear it if he was like them….or your mother, Cloud." Her hands scraped her bottom eyelid, and she suddenly flew up with a sudden realization, "Oh, Cloud! I'm sorry!"

He blinked. _For what?_

"I didn't mean…you know you're not like that, right? You know now that you're …that you're you."

"I know, Tifa." Cloud had realized that a long time ago. No simple copy of a demented man like Sephiroth could be like him. No clone could ever feel the same as he does. He appreciated everything he had now. The chance to be his own person again, the chance to live. "And it didn't happen that way." He removed his hand from her grip and brushed back her bangs. "You escaped. You're safe. And I'm fine now."

She shook her head, "Yeah, now. Stupid me."

"You're not stupid."

"No…I am. I mean, you told me you were going to leave to try out for SOLDIER, and I just said 'okay'. I just made you promise to protect me…" She clenched her fists, looking incredibly frustrated. "What if you stayed there? What if you never left? You didn't have to leave, Cloud."

"It was my decision."

"But I could have stopped you! Couldn't I have, Cloud?" Her voice sounded panicked.

Cloud shook his head, trying to ease her. "No, no…it was my choice. I wanted to be strong."

Tifa huffed and backed away from his hold, "…for me."

_What?_

She looked away from the blonde, her voice weakly soft. Tifa bit her lip. "I never told you what happened in the Lifestream. Do you remember?"

He didn't really. Cloud remembered being told he had Mako poisoning, and that Tifa had taken care of him when they both fell in the Lifestream. At that moment, he felt completely divided, almost in ruins. He felt the surface of his mind shatter, going completely blank. All memories were jumbled, his own and Zack's. A part of him wasn't even sure if he had any memories of his own, if Cloud even existed. But Tifa made him remember his identity, and he became his true self again.

"…I'm not too good with the details."

Tifa pushed herself up on the couch. "…I asked you why you joined SOLDIER."

_You did?_ "I don't remember that."

"Well, it wasn't really you…it was you when you were younger, I guess. Almost like a memory." Tifa slowly became more stable. "And you said you wanted me to notice you. …Is that true, Cloud?"

_Yes._

"You joined SOLDIER for me, didn't you?"

Cloud turned away, not wanting to think so much about his past naivety. "It doesn't matter now, Tifa. It doesn't change anything."

"But it could have, Cloud…" She paused, her memory brightening from another thought. "You know after you left, I checked the newspapers everyday. I wanted to see if you did it. …I wanted to hear about you."

_You did?_ Cloud felt his face lighten a little. His thoughts swarmed with curiosity. "Why would you do that?"

Tifa shook her head and grabbed his hand back. "Because, Cloud… I missed you. I missed you a lot."

He had missed her too, missed her more than he could say. Cloud coughed, cueing Tifa's sudden shyness. "…I'm here. I won't leave."

He saw her eyes stare back up at him, richly brown and laced with tear drops. Breathing still muffled, she practically forced the words to come out. "You promise?"

Cloud smiled, "I already did."

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**A/N:**

**well i think it's better, but what about YOU? haha, let me know. bye!**

**~Mira  
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